Is God in My Workaday World?

Lately, I had been so busy with work that even if I was singing with a choir on Sundays, I always felt like an automaton. Taking quick stock of my situation proved fruitful. I realized that I was about to experience a major burnout. I'm reminded of a lesson I learned as a Psychology student - admitting that you have a problem is already halfway towards solving it. I ACCEPT THAT MY LIFE IS STRESSFUL RIGHT NOW AND I BELIEVE THAT GOD WILL HELP ME DEAL WITH IT.

Weeks ago, my inner self must have been the first to recognize my deep need for some sort of stress debriefing, not unlike that which is administered to soldiers returning from war. I brought two little images and set them on my office desktop. One is of St. Raphael, the archangel of healing, the other is The Infant Jesus of Prague. I have yet to meditate on the meaning of The Holy Child's intervention in this very difficult and trying time.

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." - Matthew 11:28

Choral Singing and Songs

Choral singing reminds you of the heavenly choir of angels. Choirs are an important part of the liturgy. They move the massgoer to pray to God in song.

Back in the 1980s when I used to sing with Barangay Choir, there were many songs that were taught us that varied according to the liturgy of the particular occasion when the song would be sung. Thus, during Lent, the Gloria and the Alleluia were not sung, as in the present time, but rather songs that reminded one of the passion and death of Jesus. On Good Fridays the song usually sung was God So Love the World while during the Easter vigil and the whole of Easter Sunday, Handel's Hallelujah Chorus would reverberate inside the church.

In 1990, when I left the choir, I had never thought that I would one day go back and decide to stay not in the same choir but with the former parish choir of Our Lady of Grace Church.

The first time I joined this Choir again as a singing member was this Sunday morning at 11 A.M. There were just eight of us, two basses, two altos, three sopranos and a sole tenor in the person of my friend Herbert.

It had not crossed my mind that the feast that we were celebrating today was the Conversion of St. Paul. I nearly fell off my seat because I am a Paulinian and the Mass was held at the clubhouse of Don Antonio Royale Estate, a part of St. Michael the Archangel Parish. St. Michael is also one of my patrons. I was confirmed on the feast of St. Michael in San Miguel Church, San Miguel, Manila.

I had thought that the two saints were conspiring against me. What a happy conspiracy!

I made up for with enthusiasm what I lacked in technique. I had the tendency to sing without using head tone, the tone that was needed to be able to sing liturgical songs well. During choir practice, Herbert was so patient with me and told me to practice by bending from my waist down and then singing. I tried it and my head started to ache. The headache meant that I was succeeding. Using head tone hurt.

The songs we sung may be old but the singer's heart that is filled with love for the Lord never grows old.

The Entrance Song was Lift Up Your Hearts. Then Glory to God by Manoling Francisco was sung and before the Gospel was read the Aleluya was also sung.

The Offertory Song was Take and Receive, O Lord. We also sung Amen, Santo, Santo, Our Father and Kordero during the part of the Mass where the bread and wine became the Body and Blood of Christ. Communion Song was Awit ng Paghahangad. The last song, which was the Recessional was All the Ends of the Earth.

I am now a part of a choir again and I am awed by the grace that God is making use of my voice again to sing songs of praises for Him, no matter how imperfect my technique is. I am slowly being refined in order to please Him more.

written on Jan 25 2009, lifted from Translucence by Mae Ann, my friendster blog

I just came from a night out with my choir friends. It was a belated celebration of Jonavie's birthday on Jan. 16. Our shared interests? Choral singing, good food and reminiscing 'bout old times.

We go a long way and we hope to go a longer way still. Earlier this evening in one of the biggest malls in Asia, five of us met again. Alex could not come for some reason and for a

Herbert, Naomi, Jonavie, me & Bong

moment that was a damper. We had fun taking pictures of ourselves together though. Some of us heavier, all of us definitely past our thirties but just the same, we gamely posed for photos to treasure.

Herbert and Bong, whom the former brought along to our group years ago as its latest member, and Jonavie are all from the Our Lady of Grace Choir, the parish choir of Our Lady of Grace for decades before its members left to serve in another church.

Our neighbor in Caloocan, Mrs. Dely Zubieta, asked me to join the parish choir when I was about thirteen. She sang with the group and I went to audition one night. After my rendition of Gaano Ko Ikaw Kamahal, I was accepted as a member. I looked around me and felt daunted by the strange faces before me. I looked for someone about my age but found none. The choir consisted mostly of married people and college-age kids. So even with the encouragement of Mrs. Zubieta, I left the rehearsal that night with the certainty that I would never come back. I was too shy and had felt so awkward before the more sophisticated older girls I had seen there.

Years later, I would regret that decision. By then, I had joined Barangay Choir, that was touted to be one choir to beat in the barangayan, a chorale contest among the barangays. Most of its members were offshoots of the parish choir like Mrs. Zubieta. This choir sang every Sunday at 6 P.M. at the Our Lady of Grace.

My voice joined others in singing liturgical songs for nine years. And when I left the choir because I was experiencing a personal crisis, there was a void that was left in my soul that only songs of praise and thanksgiving to God could fill. Later, when I was already married, I had joined other choirs but stayed rather briefly for various reasons. I had started serving as lector and commentator in another church, Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal in Project 4, Quezon City but the times as a commentator when I led the congregation in singing could never compare to the joy I had felt when my voice was soaring on a choral high note.

When I got home, it was about midnight. One of the first things that I told my partner Tony was that I would be singing with a choir again. Herbert, as the incumbent president of Our Lady of Grace Choir, invited me to sing with them regularly at Saint Michael Church at Don Antonio Royale near Commonwealth. I said yes after Herbert assured me that I could sing most of their songs. Jonavie who used to sing with the choir at Our Lady of Grace Church sings with the altos for them and Omie occasionally lends her voice to the sopranos. Omie is from the Fugue Antiphony Choir that Ronnie Pasajol formed in 1986 with me and Jimmy Chua in tow to assist in the auditions.

I love hearing chorale singing and I love singing in a choir. On Sunday, around 10 A.M., I will be singing with Our Lady of Grace Choir again. Though most of the original members have moved on to other things and only about nine are regularly serving now, Herbert's presence is a sign that the choir is as solid as ever. The Carlos' and Anupols' contribution to chorale singing is the legacy that he will pass on to others who are willing to serve God in song.

As for me, I have assured Tony, that it would only take a few hours off of my Sunday. Besides, the church was not very far. How could it be far when I know that when I go, I would be home at last...singing in a choir.

written on Jan 19 2009, lifted from Translucence by Mae Ann, my friendster blog